My Bible Senses are Tingling

In case you haven't noticed, there's more than a little evil out there- we're fightin' a whole Axis, for Christ's sake! Things could not be more timely for Bibleman.

Although he's apparently been around for 10 yrs, and Lord knows how many years wandering around in the desert before that, he's got a video series, video game, and a daily scripture email for the kids. He's on tour, as we speak, coming to a church near you, and holy mass manipulation Bibleman, he may be able to explain why we're in Iraq!


Say Uncle Jesus!

Bibleman's one hell of a chrome-suited, light saber brandishing dude as you can see, not adverse to dishing out an old fashioned bible thumping if need be. He even hangs with Bible Girl, who sports a pretty fit and righteous breastplate, but there I go with the coveting. Thank God we don't have him paired up with some Bible Boy-Wonder in a same-sex scenario- I mean, you know- if it ain't behavior blessed by the president...




Thy appetite hath made thee whole.


Anyway, why the bejesus did they discontinue the Bibleman action figure? Who's the drunkard in charge of marketing? Any fool worth his daily bread could see that it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than to fail with this toy. Let's get the goddamn thing back out there- the resurrection! I'll tell you just how this Bibleman thing should play out:

Lo and behold, the new Bibleman Action Figure!
No stone was left unturned in the creation of this toy.

God is not just on our side- He's in the details!

With superhero cape made from our proprietary Get-Thee-Behind-Me Satin, and waist cinched with trademark Bible Belt, Bibleman is ready to crusade!

Incredibly AfterLife-like!!!


Lions?? Bring it on!!!


Be it Muslims, other misguided foreigners, or just citizens lacking moral values, Bibleman comes with everything you need to wage war and justify it!

Just look at these features!!!

Holy Roller Skates
Patented Turn-the-Other-Cheek neck action
CROSS-bow
Automatic Day-of-Rest shutoff switch
WWJD Handbook (not available in French)

But wait- there's more! Order before Christmas 2005 and we'll also throw in our Almighty Adapter Kit that allows you to quickly convert any nonsensical religion to Christianity.

Don't be the last on your block to get one- Don't let your friends be Holier-than-Thou! - ORDER NOW!

What the DEVIL are you waiting for?!